when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
