This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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