so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
