There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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