I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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