And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
