I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
