The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
