i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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