And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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