Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
