it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the raccoons are back...
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