I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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