You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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