dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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