I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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