You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
