I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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