O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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