...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
