I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Enjoy the penises
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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