I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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