I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
how does that bad decision feel?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
