as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My pussy is not your playground.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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