i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
