Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize