You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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