So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
