So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
