what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
