Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
