You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
