It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize