so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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