i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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