Pants 0. Shit 1.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
