Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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