I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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