I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize