do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize