Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Less talking, more tequila
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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