It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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