Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
