Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
