They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
