had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
