I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never joke about your clitoris.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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