I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
