Even water is tasting like jack daniels
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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