i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
