We named our party play list daddy issues
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
