I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
