Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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