Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
