I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
