wrigley field is MILF paradise
I met the friendliest cop last night
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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