I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
