After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I see more hoeing in ur future
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