We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize