You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
