It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
