I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
