we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
