I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
